A date with discovery

“The kitchen was on fire while I was gone,” was the first thing that went through my head. I have left for fifty minutes to get some groceries, and on the day I was to have a date come over, my roommate somehow caught the kitchen on fire. Which would explain why he tried so hard to get me out of the house and why he is now trying his best to explain what had happened.
“- And in my defence this could have happened to anyone with a strong engoth curiosity. My research was inconclusive and i needed to use the kitchen as a makeshift lab. By my data, it should have produced a renewable fuel source, with would have saved us a lot some more spending money. The resulting explosion and being emerging from said explosion was completely unpredict-”
I should have probably not have accepted a mad scientist as a roommate. But i just got out of college, I needed the rent money, and benny was the only one who answered my ad in the morning paper.
When he moved in, he said that he might do some “research projects” at home from time to time. I was ok with this back then, thinking that it was just going to be looking at some germs in a microscope. Three months and uncountable disasters later, I fully realized that his ideas and “innovations” were more than I anticipated. But, and this is a big but, he’s a good egg (and he produces good rent money). So that's the way it- wait...
“you said being".
“-know that you have told not to use the condiments to-” stopping in conversation, benny turned to me, wide eyed. “What”?
“You said being.” I dropped the groceries on the table and turned to face him. “And, as far as i know, being means something that has a life. Like a living creature.”
Benny looked at the ceiling, sporting a large grin and a nervous stare. “Actually Jeff, it could also mean something that is capable of existing or conscience existence, as stated by merriam webster.”
“... But you meant something alive, didn't you”?
A sound similar to suction cups breaking off a wall interrupted the silence and answered my question. Looking back into the kitchen, I only caught a glimpse of a shadow that darted into the fridge. I hoped that Ben could but my worries to rest and tell me i was wrong, but the only thing he could do is strug.

-
“Are you sure you don't have anything more... official?” I asked as Benny taped a couch cushion on my back. Benny stopped for a moment and said “why would i have something more official? It’s not like this happens every day at the lab”. Before resuming with applying tape to smaller, throw pillows and my knee caps. Knowing this guy, that came to be the biggest shock all day.
Between the two of us, we look more akin to guys going at the moment's notice to a costume party then a recon team to intercept a new species. Benny said that he estimated the creature in question would probably be “akin to a single celled organism, fast, and probably not venomous. But,” he said taking some salad tongs from the utensils, “you can never be too careful.” At Least we agreed on something. “Well then, let's go in.” and with that, we made our descent into the nightmare realm that used to be our kitchen. The first placed to check was the refrigerator, where it was last seen, but it appeared to have changed places while we were getting suited up, leaving all that we found were chili con carne. Shaking his head, Benny looked as listlessly as anyone could be looking at meat and chese. “Not good. I rather be afraid of it when I know where it is, then be afraid of it while it can be anywhere.”
“Well,” I said, “being afraid seems like a bum deal anyway you slice it.”
Benny faced my wearily, “Listen jeff, I don't have many heroic moments in my life, so when i get the chance to say something cool, I take it.”
“Listen mate, you dress you and me up like my grandma's couch after blowing up my kitchen, and you have the gall to try to sound heroic. I put up with a lot in my-”
The sound of Uncle Mike's brand raisin bran hit the floor behind us, releasing hundreds of bran flakes and dried fruit free from it’s cardboard prison. We both turned to face were we knew our greatest fear now resided. “Cupboards” said benny, raising his shield in defiance toward the unknowable.
-
Hands jittering, I grasped the handle on the cupboards. A multicolored ooze seeped through the smallest cracks of the compartment. Benny, wielding his trashcan shield and a spatula he retrieved form the utensil bin, had a heroic expression on his face and a shaking motion in his feet. I wondered if i should have got my own kitchen supplies to defend myself, but quickly dispelled it, as it would have just made me more nervous then I already was.
I slowly opened the cupboards at first, just so that Benny could prep himself. Then, in a flick of the wrist, I opened the door as far it could go as could go, while trying to distance myself from the offending storage cabinet as much as possible. I expected an explosion of activity, most likely starting with the creature landing on one of our faces and ending with a trip to the hospital, but all I received was silence. Peaking from behind the cupboard door, I saw that benny was more entranced then prepared for death combat. It only took me leaving the protection of the door to realise why he was so calm.
It looked like the most disgusting jell-o ever, whatever it was.“It”, as the only way I can describe it is “it”, was all colors of the edible rainbow: ketchup red, duck sauce orange, mustard yellow, grape purple, mayo white, and unidentifiable- leftover grey. “It”s kind of looked like one of those slime monsters form only horror movies, but if you take away what horrific features it might have and made it slightly-
“Adorable,” said Ben, dropping his lid shield Let me take out my camera.
Amazing. After all that he did to me, my house, and my kitchen, he wants take pictures of unknown threats.
“Dude, what are you doing? I thought we were going to grab em’ and bag em. Not take pictures of it like it's some baby pug”!
Benny looked back at me with a face of disgust and repulsion. “That was back when we thought it was going to be a murder weapon from the deepest lovecraftian horrors. This look like silly puddy had a baby with a pokemon. I mean”, the 25 year old child passed me and picked up the living mistake with his tongs. “Look how cute and harmless he is”.
“If he’s so harmless, why don't you pick him up with your hands and not the tongs”?
“Oh... because I chose not to, that's all Jeff”.
“And why not”?
Shifting up and down, my scientist roommate looked to the ceiling before saying, “Because... it might...digest my hands”.
“... Right then, it's going in the trash disposal”.
But before I could do away with the offending slime, ben played a power move. “Please let us keep him! I make sure to do some tests in the morning. Heck, I'll do them tonight. And if one bad thing pops up, we’ll get rid of it right away. I’ll clean up after it, feed it, take it for secluded walks, anything at all if we can just keep it!”
“For the final time, we are not keeping this slime.”

-

“I can’t believe we're keeping this slime.”
But we were, so i had to. After the day I had, I deserved to lay on the couch for a bit. Benny was sitting next to be feeding chips to out (pseudo) new pet. Currently, Colonial (the name benny gave to the “it”) was residing in a tupperware container as a makeshift pen. It did not do much but eat chips and gurgle occasionally. It was bad enough that i had to cancel with my date due to shear inability to explain recent events, but now we have a pet that may or may not eat the furniture.
“Trust me Jeff, you will not live to regret this”, said Benny, before he tossed another chip to Colonial.
“Thanks, that really helps me calm down. You know, there probably rules against creating life, religious or otherwise”.
“Well, I don't think those count if it was on accident. Hey I think it almost said your name.”
Like I said before, Benny can be a hand full, (along with whatever he makes) but he’s a good egg.